We frequently hear of people dying from too much drinking. That this happens is a matter of record. But the blame almost always is placed on whisky. Why this should be I never could understand. You can die from drinking too much of anything - coffee water milk soft drinks and all such stuff as that. And so long as the presence of death lurks with anyone who goes through the simple act of swallowing I will make mine whisky.W. C. Fields
I always keep a supply of stimulant handy in case I see a snake - which I also keep handy.W. C. Fields
I exercise self-control and never touch any beverage stronger than gin before breakfast.W. C. Fields
It was a woman who drove me to drink - and you know I never even thanked her.W. C. Fields
Once during Prohibition I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.W. C. Fields
I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.W. C. Fields
No man is boss in his own home but he can make up for it by making a dog play dead.W. C. Fields
A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.W. C. Fields
When asked to borrow money: "I'll see what my lawyer says... . And if he says yes I'll get another lawyer."W. C. Fields
If at first you don't succeed try try again. Then quit. There's no use being a damn fool about it.W. C. Fields
I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally.W. C. Fields
It was a woman who drove me to drink - and you know I never even thanked her.W. C. Fields
Women are like elephants. They are interesting to look at but I wouldn't like to own one.W. C. Fields
When we have lost everything, including hope, life becomes a disgrace, and death a duty.W. C. Fields
Drown in a cold vat of whiskey? Death, where is thy sting?W. C. Fields
I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.W. C. Fields
Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.W. C. Fields
Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water.W. C. Fields
No doubt exists that all women are crazy it's only a question of degree.W. C. Fields
Set up another case bartender! The best thing for a case of nerves is a case of Scotch.W. C. Fields
I never worry about being driven to drink I just worry about being driven home.W. C. Fields
The clever cat eats cheese and breathes down rat holes with baited breath.W. C. Fields
Sleep - the most beautiful experience in life - except drink.W. C. Fields
I like children - fried.W. C. Fields
Hell, I never vote for anybody, I always vote against.W. C. Fields
It's morally wrong to allow a sucker to keep his money.W. C. Fields
If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There's no point in being a damn fool about it.W. C. Fields
I never worry about being driven to drink I just worry about being driven home.W. C. Fields