29 Quotes & Sayings By W C Fields

W.C. Fields was born William Claude Dukenfield on September 3, 1878, in London, England. He was the tenth of eleven children born to former English circus acrobat Bill Dukenfield and Mary Adelaide "May" Fields, a lady of some means from the North Carolina mountains. His family moved to the United States in 1890, settling in New York City's Hell's Kitchen district Read more

Fields began his show business career at a very early age by selling newspapers on street corners and by selling peanuts at vaudeville shows. He worked as a page at the New York World newspaper during its early years, where he first became acquainted with cartoonist John Keating. In 1895, Fields began performing as a clown in the circus as part of the Barnum & Bailey circus.

He later studied acting under Maxine Elliott and appeared in several silent films before making his debut as a movie comedian with Screen Stars of Fourteen Years (1913).

1
We frequently hear of people dying from too much drinking. That this happens is a matter of record. But the blame almost always is placed on whisky. Why this should be I never could understand. You can die from drinking too much of anything - coffee water milk soft drinks and all such stuff as that. And so long as the presence of death lurks with anyone who goes through the simple act of swallowing I will make mine whisky. W. C. Fields
2
I always keep a supply of stimulant handy in case I see a snake - which I also keep handy. W. C. Fields
3
I exercise self-control and never touch any beverage stronger than gin before breakfast. W. C. Fields
4
It was a woman who drove me to drink - and you know I never even thanked her. W. C. Fields
5
Once during Prohibition I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water. W. C. Fields
6
I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it. W. C. Fields
7
No man is boss in his own home but he can make up for it by making a dog play dead. W. C. Fields
8
A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money. W. C. Fields
9
When asked to borrow money: "I'll see what my lawyer says... . And if he says yes I'll get another lawyer." W. C. Fields
10
If at first you don't succeed try try again. Then quit. There's no use being a damn fool about it. W. C. Fields
11
I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally. W. C. Fields
12
It was a woman who drove me to drink - and you know I never even thanked her. W. C. Fields
13
Women are like elephants. They are interesting to look at but I wouldn't like to own one. W. C. Fields
14
When we have lost everything, including hope, life becomes a disgrace, and death a duty. W. C. Fields
15
Drown in a cold vat of whiskey? Death, where is thy sting? W. C. Fields
16
I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally. W. C. Fields
17
Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water. W. C. Fields
18
Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water. W. C. Fields
19
No doubt exists that all women are crazy it's only a question of degree. W. C. Fields
20
Set up another case bartender! The best thing for a case of nerves is a case of Scotch. W. C. Fields
21
I never worry about being driven to drink I just worry about being driven home. W. C. Fields
22
The clever cat eats cheese and breathes down rat holes with baited breath. W. C. Fields
23
Sleep - the most beautiful experience in life - except drink. W. C. Fields
24
I like children - fried. W. C. Fields
25
Hell, I never vote for anybody, I always vote against. W. C. Fields
26
It's morally wrong to allow a sucker to keep his money. W. C. Fields
27
If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There's no point in being a damn fool about it. W. C. Fields
28
I never worry about being driven to drink I just worry about being driven home. W. C. Fields